


Last Minute High School Sweethearts

by sir_kingsley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: High School, High School AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:48:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3010787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sir_kingsley/pseuds/sir_kingsley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets worried when he notices that he and Cas aren't applying for the same colleges. What he doesn't understand, is why it upsets him so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Minute High School Sweethearts

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive the title of this work. I've been working on this for eight hours. I'm exhausted and didn't have the time or patience to come up with anything better. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Dean frowned at the package of paper in his hands. He flipped through the pages and was full-on scowling by the end. He tossed it in a pile away from him and lifted the next bundle of paper. He threw that one away too.

By the sixth toss, Castiel peeked up from his own mass of paper. “Dean, what are you doing?”

“Getting rid of the applications I don’t want to do.”

Frowning, Cas leaned over and his eyes widened a fraction when he recognized the seal in the top left corner of the discarded application. “That’s for KU. I thought that was one of your top choices.”

Dean shrugged. “It was, but you have to write an essay.”

Castiel blinked at his best friend as if waiting for Dean to end the joke. When Dean made no sign of joking, Cas tilted his head. “Dean, you can’t just discard an application because you don’t want to write an essay. Most of them are relatively short anyway.”

Dean wrinkled his nose as he scrutinized another application. “I’m not good with words, Cas. You know that. Writing is your thing.” Another application went on the pile and Cas scooped it up with the rest of the pile.

“Kansas State, University of Oklahoma, Mizzou, Colorado State…” Cas flipped through the rest of them and frowned at Dean. “Dean, no. These are all your top picks. These are great schools.”

Dean met Cas’s eyes and had to bite back a grin at the blue fury blazing in them. He loved it when Cas got mad. He looked so… Dean shook his head, dislodging a weird thought before it settled in his mind. 

He looked away from Cas and focused on an application he was actually keeping. “Like I said, Cas, words are your thing.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Nah, that’s okay, Cas.”

“I’m not offering Dean. I’m telling.” Dean’s head snapped up and Cas’s eyes told him not to dare argue. “Finish filling them out and I’ll help you when you’re done.” 

So Dean did as he was told, filling in his name, address, grade history, all that shit college applications ask for. By the last one he was cursing his own social security number. 

When he finished, Cas took them and looked over each essay prompt. They were standard. Why would you be a good fit here? Why do you want to come here? Bunch of bullshit. 

“How am I supposed to answer this bullshit?” Dean demanded. 

“Just talk about all of your good qualities,” Cas instructed. “You basically just brag about yourself. What makes you special?”

Dean snorted. “What’s to brag about? There’s nothing special about me. I don’t have any good qualities. The only reason I’m graduating high school is because of you.”

“That’s not true,” Cas snapped, surprising Dean. “You’re highly intelligent, Dean. You’ve always been good at math and science. You’re a genius when it comes to cars and computers. And you’re determined and dependable. You practically raised Sam by yourself. You’re selfless and brave and… kind.” The final word was almost a whisper and Cas looked back down at the application, wigging the pen in his hands. 

Dean was quiet for a long moment, not sure how to digest what Cas had just said to him. Said about him. His stomach was fluttering and there was no fighting the smile forming on his lips. 

After about a minute, he still didn’t know what to do or think. So he lowered his head and began to write.

The two of them relaxed again after a few minutes and a light silence fell over them as they worked, Dean only bugging Cas a few times with a question. 

After about an hour, Dean was stretching his arms over his head and yawning. “Well… all done.”

Cas grabbed his applications and looked them over, reading through each essay. “They look great,” he said as he set them down.

“Really? Awesome. Thanks for all your help Cas.”

Cas just smiled. “It wasn’t a big deal. Compared to my essay for Stanford, those were a walk in the park.”

Dean’s smile froze on his face. “Stanford? You’re applying to Stanford?”

Cas nodded, looking down at his application. 

Dean leaned back against the couch heavily, staring at the top of Cas’s head. “I didn’t know you were interested in Stanford.”

“I figured it couldn’t hurt. I have a better chance of getting into Stanford than Princeton or Yale.”

Dean’s smile twitched. “You applied to Princeton and Yale, too?”

Again, Cas just nodded.

Dean laughed shakily as he reached out for Cas’s pile of completed applications. Sure enough, there was Yale. And Stanford. Princeton, Penn State, UCLA, Notre Dame, Columbia. 

“None of these are local, Cas,” Dean said, looking up at Cas. “I thought we were going to try to stay close to home.” Close to each other, he thought to himself.

Cas just shrugged. “I changed my mind. I think a change in scenery would be best for me.”

Dean waited for Cas to say something else. But Cas wasn’t talking or meeting his eyes and the longer Dean waiting the more he felt like he was suffocating. 

“I… I gotta go.” Dean coughed to put some strength back in his voice. “Sam’s probably waiting.”

“Okay,” Cas answered. He still didn’t look up.

Dean gathered his things, just shoving them into his backpack, and got to his feet. “See you tomorrow.”

At last, Cas raised his head. His eyes were warm and his lips curved in a friendly smile. “Okay, see you tomorrow.”

Dean didn’t know why that smile felt like a knife in his back. But he chose to ignore it and let himself out of the house.

*****  
In the days to follow, Dean found himself sliding into a deep depression. Being near Cas was painful and that irritated Dean because Cas had always been an important figure in Dean’s life. 

Aside from Sam, Cas was Dean’s only friend, the only person Dean could trust and depend on. When Dean needed help with Sam, Cas was there. When Dean’s dad bloodied him up, Cas was the one Dean could go to. 

Cas was comfort to Dean. He was happiness and hope and… Cas was everything. 

And he was leaving. He was going to go somewhere far away where Dean would never see him again.

“What are you moping for?”

Dean opened his eyes and glared into the curious face of his little brother. “Not moping,” he growled, turning on his side. 

He felt Sam sit on the bed. “Yes you are. You’ve been in here since school ended. You haven’t been playing your lame music or come down for any food. I was beginning to think you were dead.”

“Shut up, Sammy.”

But Sam wouldn’t let up and in the next second Dean felt his brother leaning over him, resting all of his weight on Dean’s side. “Is it about Cas?”

Dean shot a look at Sam. “What?”

“Cas hasn’t been over all week,” Sam observed. “And you haven’t gone to his house. So obviously you guys are fighting or something.”

“We’re not fighting,” Dean grumbled, looking away again. 

“Did you break up?”

Dean shot into a sitting position, nearly throwing Sam off the bed. Instead, he just rolled onto his back at the foot of the bed and blinked at his older brother. 

“What the hell, Sammy? Why would you say that?”

“Everyone does,” the younger Winchester said simply.

“Who’s everyone?”

“Just everyone. So are you mad at Cas?”

Dean was still sputtering over what Sam had said about a break-up. As if… As if Cas and he were a couple. Words of defense and denial were rising in his throat but he just couldn’t make himself say them and he didn’t want to question why that was.

So he just leaned against the headboard, folding his arms across his chest. He could feel Sam’s eyes on him, patiently waiting for an answer he knew Dean didn’t want to give. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “No, Sam. We’re not fighting.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I’m just…” Dean fluttered his hands around, as if he could grab the right word out of thin air.

“Upset?” Sam offered.

Dean huffed out a stubborn breath of air. “Yeah, I suppose,” he admitted. “I’m upset.”

“About what?”

Dean didn’t know how to reply. He’d had a vague idea of why he’d been acting this way since that night at Cas’s house but he never allowed himself to let it settle. Because something, some little voice in his head, told him that if he acknowledged it, things would never be the same.

“Dean?” 

Dean opened his eyes. “Cas is leaving,” Dean whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s applying to colleges all around the country. He doesn’t want to stay close.” Dean took a breath. “He’s going to leave.”

“Oh.” Sam sat up, facing his brother. “He’s leaving you.”

Dean almost had to clutch his chest, Sam’s word hit him so hard. But he didn’t have the energy to deny them. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered. 

Dean forced a smile. “It’s okay, Sammy. Nothing we can do about it. I don’t know why it bothers me so much in the first place. I guess it’s just ‘cause Cas and I have never really been apart. Hell, we’ve practically been joined at the hip since we were four-”

Sam was rolling his eyes furiously. “Dean, stop. Please. You’re not upset that Cas is leaving just because he’s your best friend. You honestly think this is normal behavior for a best friend?” He shook his head when Dean tried to reply. “No. Stop lying. Stop lying to yourself for once and just be honest. You’re not upset because Cas is your best friend. You’re upset because you love him.”

“Sam, I-”

“No, Dean. You love him. You’ve loved him for years. You’ve just been too stubborn to admit it.”

Dean felt like he was drowning. He couldn’t grasp on a single word Sam was saying, only sit there as they fell on top of him, crushing him, cutting off his breathing. 

In love… with Cas….

No. No, no, no, no. He couldn’t be in love with Cas. Cas was just a friend. His best friend. Sure, he liked the guy a lot, but who didn’t? Cas was a likeable guy. He was scary smart and super funny – if you had the right sense of humor, anyway. He was insanely sweet, always doing whatever he could to help people. He was friendly, so friendly that it sometimes annoyed Dean because everyone always wanted to talk to Cas. 

And as if his personality wasn’t enough, the guy was great-looking. Lean, tan, and an amazing face that could transform from innocent puppy to smoldering sex god depending on how disheveled his hair was. And those eyes alone… They still stole Dean’s breath. And his inhumanly pink lip that always seemed to be in need of chapstick. Dean had spent a lot of time staring at and thinking about those lips. 

Oh, shit…

Dean met his brother’s eyes. Sam was just smiling smugly. “Ah, there’s the light bulb I’ve been waiting on. I’m gonna leave you alone to sort through all this.”

*****

“Are you mad at me?”

Dean jumped, nearly slamming his hand in his locker. He cursed as Cas blinked his big blue eyes at him. “Dammit, Cas, wear a bell!”

Cas just blinked at his outburst. “Are you mad at me?”

Dean turned his face back into his locker, studying the spines of his rarely touched textbooks. “Of course not.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t.”

“Yes you have. You haven’t had lunch with me all week and you-”

“That’s because I had to meet-”

“I know you haven’t been meeting with your shop class every lunch hour,” Cas interrupted, his voice growing louder. “I checked with your teacher.”

Dean could only blink at Cas, desperately trying to find an excuse or a lie in his mind but he couldn’t latch on to anything. “I-I’m not-I-”

“Did I say something? Did I… Did I do something weird? Because just tell me what I did and I’ll-”

Cas almost looked ready to cry and Dean’s heart tightened along with his fists. He had every urge to reach out and touch Cas, to comfort him, but he couldn’t let himself. 

“I’m not mad, Cas. I’ve just been… going through some stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

Dean averted his eyes again. “I can’t talk about it.”

“Oh.”

He didn’t miss the tone of sadness in that syllable. Dean forced a smile and looked at his friend again. “But it’s okay. I’m good now. So how about I meet you at our table later, okay?”

He shut his locker and barely heard Cas’s murmured, “Okay,” as he hurried away.

Dean felt horrible for the rest of the day. He couldn’t believe he had hurt Cas’s feelings like that. To think Cas had been going around all week thinking he had done something wrong. Dean felt like scum. 

He was first to arrive at their table for lunch. He settled with his slice of pizza and his soda and began to eat in silence. 

He had to figure out how we was going to handle this… this situation with Cas. What did one do when one fell in love with one’s best friend? Especially when that friend was of the same gender?

He supposed it was possible to go on as normal. Dean was willing to deal with the pain if it kept Cas close to him. And it wasn’t like he would have to deal with it for long since Cas was leaving.

But what if Cas noticed? What if Dean did something weird and Cas found out? Things would get awkward. What if he was disgusted with Dean? What if he hated Dean? 

Dean heard a familiar gravelly voice and looked up from his pizza. Cas was talking to a short redhead. He listened intently as she jabbered on and threw his head back to laugh. Dean followed that movement closely, his mouth going numb as he traced Cas’s jawline with his eyes, the crinkles that formed in the corner of his eyes.

Those eyes met Dean’s then and they seemed to smile at him. Dean swallowed painfully. He was doomed.

Cas dislodged himself from the redhead and smiled at Dean as he approached their table. Cas sat across from him. “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas. What did Charlie have to say?”

“Oh, she was talking about the new Hobbit movie. She’s apparently already seen it three times.”

“Didn’t it just come out two days ago?”

“Yes.”

They laughed and then fell into silence. Cas bit into his apple and Dean watched as the juice bubbled up to moisten Cas’s lips. Cas’s jaw flexed as he chewed. When Cas’s tongue darted out to lick his lips, Dean had to look away. Then he looked down.

Oh shit.

“Are you okay?”

Dean jumped at Cas’s voice. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re squirming.”

Dean stilled. “I’m good. So… Ugh, have you mailed your applications out yet?”

Cas’s smile wilted for a moment. “Yes. I mailed them on Monday.”

Dean’s stomach fell like a boulder in his abdomen. “Oh.”

Cas coughed. “Have you mailed yours?”

“No.”

“Dean, you know some of those deadlines are very close.”

Dean shrugged, trying to ignore the shaky sensation in his chest. “I don’t know… I don’t know if I’m going to.”

Cas tilted his head. It was such a cute and familiar gesture. “Going to do what?”

“Mail them.”

“Dean, what are you talking about? You have to send the application if you want to get into a university.”

Dean could feel Cas’s eyes searching for his face, but he just couldn’t make himself look up. “I don’t think I want to go anymore.”

He felt Cas jerk against the table. “What?” he almost yelled. He leaned forward and in a fierce whisper, asked, “Why?”

Again, Dean shrugged. “I just don’t see the point anymore.”

“Dean, what are you talking about?”

Dean wished he could tell him. He really did. He wanted to tell Cas why the idea of college no longer appealed to him, why the idea actually almost made him sick. He wanted to tell Cas it was because he couldn’t bare the thought of going without him. 

“Dean?” Cas snapped and hit his fist on the table, jarring Dean from his mental pity party.

Dean tried to come up with a good reply but he had nothing. Cas was emanating a cold sort of steam across from him and it took Dean’s breath away. He had rarely seen Cas this angry before and it was never over something as silly as Dean going to school.

“Hey, Cas!”

Dean and Cas turned at the same time. Dean recognized Rachel, Anna and Balthazar, some of Cas’s friends from his smarty-pants classes. They always made Dean uncomfortable.

Balthazar had an annoying grin on his face as he gazed down at the two boys. “Are we interrupting something, boys?” he teased with his pretentious accent. 

Cas just smiled cordially. “Of course not. What’s going on?”

Anna leaned forward. “Rachel and I were helping Mrs. Harvelle grade Tuesday’s tests.”

Cas quirked a brow. “And?”

“Guess who was the only asshole to get a perfect score?”

“Rachel?” Cas guessed.

Anna sneered. “No, you, you asshole.”

Cas just laughed. “Should I apologize?”

“Well, you blew the curve for the rest of us, so I wouldn’t be opposed to an apology,” Balthazar drawled. 

“If you actually studied, you wouldn’t have to depend on a curve,” Rachel grumbled.

“Oh, Rachel, how I love it when you make unrealistic suggestions.”

“How much did you study anyway, Cas?” Anna asked.

Cas shrugged lightly. “Not much. Just the night before.”

Three pairs of eyes narrowed on him. “I hate you,” Anna said. “I studied a week in advance and I barely got an ‘A.’”

“It’s physics, Anna,” Balthazar said. “You either get it or you don’t.”

“Bite me, Harry Potter. Didn’t you get a perfect on the last test too?”

Cas shook his head. “No, I was one point off.”

“You’re insufferable.”

Dean listened as the four of them bickered back and forth about grades and classes and the more he listened, the worse he felt.

Cas was so smart. It was frightening, really, just how smart he was. He could do anything he wanted to do, go anywhere he wanted to go. And if his brains couldn’t get him somewhere, his personality would get him the rest of the way. 

Cas would do great things one day. 

Dean would not. Dean would likely stay in Lawrence, maybe have his own shop one day if he was lucky, drowning in motor oil and cheap beer and self-loathing. 

Cas would go on without Dean because he could. He had the brains and the charm. He would leave Dean behind as he built a wonderful life far away, doing great things, meeting great people, find a great family of his own.

And he would forget Dean. 

“Dean!”

Dean snapped to attention. Cas and his friends were staring at him with concerned eyes. Dean looked down at himself. He was shaking again. 

“Dean, are you okay?” Cas reached his hand out.

Dean jerked his arm toward his chest and jumped to his feet. “I gotta go,” he slurred and ran out of the cafeteria. 

He had barely made it to the bathroom when he could no longer hold back the tears. Dean hid in the very last stall and allowed himself to cry freely.

He felt pathetic but couldn’t bring himself to chastise himself. He needed this right now. Because he was in love with Cas but he knew – he knew – that he could never have him. 

Because Cas was too good for him. 

And that hurt more than any physical pain he had ever felt before.

*****

When Dean got home that day he closed himself off in his room again. But this time he was sure to play music, hoping that would keep Sam from worrying and barging in. 

Dean laid on his bed, eyes boarding blindly into the ceiling as the sound of Metallica echoed around his room. He felt cold but didn’t want to pull the blankets over him. After a few hours he felt hungry, but couldn’t muster the strength to go get food. Eventually, his entire body went numb and his mind was close to follow. 

Dean was floating in a thick and silent darkness when something bright burned him through his eyelids. His eyes flew open and he groaned as the light seared his retinas. 

“Sorry,” a gravelly voice said softly. “I didn’t think you would be sleeping.”

Dean wiped at his eyes groggily as he sat up. Slowly, Cas came into focus. “Cas?” he asked in a thick voice. “What are you doing here? What time is it?”

“It’s a little past nine. And I came to check on you. You didn’t look too well at lunch and you haven’t answered any of my texts or calls. You had me really worried.”

Dean fought off his guilt with a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry, Cas. I came home and just passed out, you know. Didn’t mean to worry you.”

Cas nodded slowly. “So what happened at lunch?”

“Stomach bug.”

“Stomach bug?” Cas echoed and Dean just nodded. Cas took a step toward the bed. “Dean, you looked as though you were going to cry.”

Dean snorted. “What? No, no. I wasn’t crying. Stomach hurt, that’s all. Promise. So, ugh, you eat? It’s late but I can fix some-”

“Stop lying.”

Dean paused in his process of climbing out of the bed. “What?”

“Stop lying to me,” Cas said, louder this time. 

“What are you talking about, Cas? I’m not lying. My stomach-”

One second, Dean was staring at his feet, the next he was looking at the ceiling again. Then Cas’s face appeared and he felt the warmth of the other boy’s weight pressing against him. 

“Stop lying!” Cas screamed. “I’ve known you since you were four. I know when you’re lying, Dean. And I know when you’re acting weird and I know when you have a problem with me. You’ve been avoiding me since we finished the applications. You lied about meeting with a class for an entire week and won’t tell me why. You suddenly don’t want to go school. And today you were going cry. And you never cry. So tell me what’s going on!”

“Nothing!” Dean screamed back as he wiggled underneath Cas.

“Yes there is!”

“No there’s not! Get off me!”

“Tell me what’s wrong with you!”

Dean quit struggling, already drained from the day to keep fighting. “I don’t want to talk about it, Cas. Please.”

Cas’s eyes lost their anger as he stared into Dean’s. “We’re supposed to be best friends. But you won’t talk to me. And I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Dean groaned. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Cas. You’re perfect. That’s the problem.”

Cas frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re perfect, Cas. You’re great at everything. You’re so smart. And you’re so nice.”

“You’re mad at me because I’m nice?”

“I’m not mad at you!” Dean barked. “I’m mad at myself.”

“You’re not making any sense, Dean.”

“Dammit, Cas. You… You’re too good for me. And you’re going to leave me.”

Cas leaned back. “What do you mean?”

“You’re applying to all those schools away from here. We were supposed to stay close but you want to go to Stanford and Yale. And you could totally do it. You’re smart enough. You’re freaking brilliant. And everybody loves you. And I know that you’ll graduate and probably become a great doctor and you’ll meet a nice girl and start a family. And you’ll forget about me.”

Cas’s eyes were big and sad. “Dean, I could never forget about you.”

Dean snorted. “Please, Cas. When you’re out living your great life, your mind will hardly have space for the freckle-faced grunt from Lawrence, Kansas.”

“Dean.” Cas’s hands pressed to either side of Dean’s cheeks and Dean went stiff as he was forced to meet Cas’s eyes. “You are the most important person in my life. I could never, never forget you. No matter how hard I tried,” he said on a whisper.

Dean shook his head with the little movement he had. “Don’t say that to me, Cas. Don’t get my hopes up.”

“Hopes up for what?”

“Seriously, Cas? You’re really going to make me say all of it, aren’t you?”

“Say what?”

Dean shut his eyes tightly. “I like you, Cas.”

He couldn’t see it, but Dean knew Cas had tilted his head. “I like you too, Dean.”

And Dean groaned, deeply pained by Cas’s naivety. “No, Cas, like I like like you.” He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. “I love you, Cas.”

It was like Cas turned into a statue. He didn’t move for several long seconds. He didn’t even blink. Dean wasn’t sure he was breathing.

“Cas?” 

“D-don’t… Don’t say that,” Cas whispered.

Dean sighed. “I’m sorry, Cas. This is why I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to creep you out.”

“Creeped out?” Cas echoed. “I’m not creeped out, Dean.”

“Then why do you look so sad?”

“Because I don’t want you to get my hopes up.”

It was like a record coming to a stop in Dean’s head. “Wait. What?”

Instead of answering, Cas collapsed against Dean. Dean was absolutely rigid as the other boy pressed his face into Dean’s neck. He could feel Cas’s heartbeat through their shirts. He could feel Cas’s breath fanning his throat. 

“Dean Winchester, you have no idea how many times I have dreamed of hearing you say those words.”

“Cas, what are you saying? Are you crying? What’s going on?”

Cas laughed and for a brief moment his lips touched Dean’s neck and Dean’s skin caught fire. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean was pretty sure his heart was trying to escape his body. “Cas, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m not being funny.”

“You-you can’t be serious, though. I mean, you’re Cas. And I’m… I’m-”

“Wonderful. Amazing,” Cas suggested and leaned back to look Dean in the eye. “Funny. Clever. Kind. Beautiful.”

Dean was blushing furiously at this point. “B-but if you like me, why are you leaving?”

“For school, you mean?” Dean nodded and Cas smiled softly. “Can you imagine standing next to her person you love day after day and never being able to say anything. Always having to make sure you don’t stare at them too long or having to keep yourself from touching them.”

Dean snorted. “That’s been my life this past week,”

Cas smirked. “Try five years.” Cas’s eyes saddened. “When I thought of spending another four like that… I couldn’t do it, Dean. It hurt too much. I thought that if I went to a school further away, I would have the space to get over you.”

Dean let the words sink into him, enjoying the warm sensation they sent throughout his body. “What a fine mess we’ve gotten ourselves into, huh?”

“Indeed.”

“It’s like a damn chick flick.”

Cas laughed. “We’re just missing one part.”

“What’s that?”

“The passionate kiss at the end.”

Cas’s words were barely a whisper and they sent shivers down Dean’s spine. He held Cas’s gaze with his as the other boy lowered his head. He could feel the warmth of Cas’s lips and then-

“Wait!” Dean jerked forward, hitting his head with Cas’s. “What about school?”

“What about it?” Cas growled.

“You applied to all those smarty-pants schools that I can never get into. What are we going to do after we graduate? You’re gonna go off to-”

Cas pressed a finger to Dean’s lips. “I’ll apply to all of the schools you did tomorrow.”

Dean felt so much relief he could almost cry. “Really?”

“Really. Now, can we finally kiss please? I’ve been waiting for five years.”

Dean didn’t make him wait a second more.


End file.
